LOURDS: In Touch with My Feminine Side

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The J-Pop singer Utada has a song on her album Exodus called "You Make Me Want to Be a Man". I can't imagine why she'd want that, but fine.

And then there's me: I'm beginning to think that the main emotion that has driven my attraction to female artists for most of my life is not infatuation...it's envy. The fact is, they make me want to be a woman.

Wait, follow me on this: I'm not saying that I want to "become" a woman as my present self (and trust me, you wouldn't want to see that either). And I am well aware that in about 70% of the world, women are still treated like chattel, or worse. What I AM saying is that, in a free, progressive society...who would ever want to be a man? Being a woman is where it's at! Chicks have ALL the fun!

And if I were going to be a woman, I might as well go all-in: I'd want to be like Lourds Lane, frontwoman and namesake of the band LOURDS. Because to be like Lourds Lane is to be an ultra-talented, super-sexy, expressionistic, exhibitionistic, prodigious woman. I'd even live in New York if I could be a girl like Lourds Lane.

So there it is, I've outed myself: I have X-chromosome-envy. The sad reality, of course, is that chromosomes are the most I have in common with Lourds Lane. Hell, if I embodied any of the above-mentioned adjectives I would live happily ever after as a man. But Lourds has it all, and she has It.

Lourds Lane was a child prodigy who started training on violin at age three, and was performing concert hall recitals by age six. She found time to learn piano, too. However, like many Classically-trained artists, the constraints of Classical "propriety" eventually wore on her, and as a teenager Lourds' preferred form of expression was on the dance floor of New York's hottest clubs. Her popularity landed her a regular slot on MTV's dance show "Club MTV".

Her musical ambitions were far grander than that, however, and she began to take steps to make them a reality. But this time, Lourds' chosen genre was Rock, which gave her the freedom of expression and individuality that Classical could not.

Cut to the present time, wherein Lourds Lane is a New York diva known to some fans as "the Queen"; an electrifying performer whose band LOURDS has released a self-titled album on indie startup Breaking Records. As if that weren't enough, Lourds Lane also released a solo single called "Victory", a stadium-shuddering anthem that has been licensed by ESPN and ABC Sports. It is now Lourds' world, and we are just living in it.

LOURDS, the album, is a showcase of the artist's multitude of talents; however, it is first and foremost a Rock album by a Rock band. Lourds Lane handles lead vocals
photo: Shiran Nicholson

(with a beautifully deep, aggressive voice), electric violin, mandolin, piano, electric and acoustic guitar. Sarah Vasil handles the drums mightily, Gene Blank shreds the Les Paul sunburst, and Joey Sagarese provides tasty bass morsels. Watching the band's live videos gives one a taste of their extremely energetic, positively-charged shows, but apparently there's nothing like seeing LOURDS live, in person. (So how 'bout coming West, guys?)

Album highlights include "Astropop" (which is a reference to the popular frozen treat, not the popular video game); we called them "Bomb Pops" when I was a kid, but whatever you call them, the song is about getting past troubling times by reclaiming your childhood enthusiasm. "Soothsayer Lies" is a power-ballad about a girl in denial over a failed relationship. Both this and the song "Always" are two of the best tracks in which to hear Lourds' mad violin skillz. But don't expect a Vanessa Mae redux here; like I said, this is a Rock album (it may be a coincidence that her nickname is the Queen, but Lourds definitely has the spirit of Freddie Mercury in her). The violin is used sparingly, and is definitely not a gimmick.

"Kiss U Soft" is another song with a chant arrangement which, like "Victory", must be a huge crowd-pleaser at the live shows. "Last Day", one of my favorite tracks, is an upbeat song about armageddon, in which the singer advises, Throw away your fears / Don't think too much about it / Let's just fuck like it's the last day of our lives (I'm pretty sure that's from Revalations, too, so we have to do it). And finally, you can probably guess what the song "You Suck the Life Out of Me" is about.

If there is one minor criticism, it's that the songwriting seems to be geared towards the live performance. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just that the songs don't quite catch fire on the CD the way they must do at the live shows; which may explain why LOURDS has a rabid following of habitual concertgoers. The live show seems to be where it's at -- and this is coming from a guy who LOVES studio albums.

But by all means, buy LOURDS if you're looking for energetic, positive, inventive Rock music...brought to you by the girl I want to be.


Sarah, Gene, Lourds & Joey (photo: Shiran Nicholson)